Try
by I'm Not Psychotic. I'm Gifted
Summary: After a fight, Kurama and Yusuke reflect on their relationship. Songfic.


A/N: This idea just wouldn't leave me alone until I got it out. I'm not sure how I like it, so review and let me know what you think. The song is by P!nk, and I HIGHLY recommend it. If you watch the video before reading the fic, it'll really put it in the right mood. Well, enjoy!

* * *

_Ever wonder about what he's doing  
How it all turned to lies.  
Sometimes I think that it's better  
To never ask why._

It was the third time that he had walked home in two weeks. Yusuke's hands were shoved into his pockets, his gaze glaring at anything it happened to land on. He was still angry after a reoccurring argument with Kurama had caused him to storm off back to his own apartment.

The new couple had gone through a brief honeymoon phase, ended by a train of thought that couldn't seem to leave Yusuke's mind. As the two friends began to get to know each other in a new light, it became apparent that Kurama had boundaries to overcome. Being a thousand-year-old fox demon left more than a few skeletons in the closet, and though Yusuke swore he wouldn't let them change his feelings, the kitsune was nervous. When you admit to yourself how much you need someone, you must also face the potential pain of losing them.

But of course, Yusuke didn't see it that way. Hiding things is merely a few steps from lying, and he couldn't handle that from Kurama. He had opened himself up to his boyfriend, had been with him through things most people could never hope to understand. Why didn't that seem to matter at all? He scoffed.

Maybe it was just better not to ask.

_Where there is desire,  
There is a gonna be a flame.  
Where there is a flame,  
Someone's bound to get burned._

The sound of the slammed door still rang through the apartment, even though Yusuke had left several minutes ago. An uncomfortable knot had worked its way into Kurama's stomach, and for a brief time, he just sat on his couch, sipping tea.

He was tired.

Tired of having this argument, tired of trying to open up and failing, and tired of being afraid of losing the person he loved. It wasn't that he wanted to keep Yusuke in the dark, it was simply that he wanted to keep him. The kitsune had always been closed off, determined to protect those around him through secrecy. And for 22 years, it had been working just fine. But relationships always complicated things. Normally, he avoided them. But he couldn't do that this time.

His feelings for Yusuke had persisted until he'd finally done something about them. And when they came together, the sparks were like fireworks. They lit the night sky with a hundred colors, and burned so brightly, anyone could see them. But being so close to such a thing could be just as painful as pleasurable.

When two people had such different approaches to certain feelings, it could lead to frustration. Where Yusuke was bold and immediate, Kurama was reserved and calm. The former detective trusted his instincts and dove in, while the kitsune preferred to be patient and calculating. Both had been served well by such actions, but hadn't thought about the consequences of them colliding.

_But just because it burns,  
Doesn't mean you're gonna die.  
You gotta get up and try, try, try.  
Gotta get up and try, try, try._

Yusuke collapsed onto his bed, running his hands over his face and hair. He just couldn't understand the way Kurama thought, and this time it had nothing to do with his genius IQ.

Despite their differences, Yusuke knew he would never abandon Kurama. He cared about him too much. Hell, the fox could probably tell him he used to punt babies for fun and he'd get over it. Once you get past your ancestral, human-eating father possessing your body and killing someone, not much can phase you.

In a little while, he'd call Kurama and apologize for storming off. And his boyfriend would respond with some cryptic apology about not being able to divulge the full secrets of himself. It never led to the issue actually getting resolved, but it ended the fight for the time being.

After laying there for a bit longer, thoughts and feelings swirling about, Yusuke pushed himself from the bed and got a beer from the fridge. Maybe it was because of his mother's alcoholism during his childhood (or the fact that he was a 21-year-old guy), but a can of beer always soothed his anger. It made the phone call that much easier.

_Funny how the heart can be deceiving  
More than just a couple times.  
Why do we fall in love so easy,  
Even when it's not right?_

Kurama saw on his phone who was calling and simply let it ring. It was the first time he had ignored a call from Yusuke, and that put a strange feeling inside his chest. He couldn't keep making the same excuses. It strained him and their relationship. Kurama walked about his home, finding small tasks to keep his hands busy.

The kitsune's past wasn't something he could change, and he thought he'd accepted that fact. But it was a lie. He just pushed the thought to the back of his mind and let it stay there, undisturbed until his feelings for Yusuke came about. And naturally, when the thief sought to obtain a treasure, he succeeded.

Because that's precisely what Yusuke was - a treasure. Even after discovering his demonic heritage, Yusuke had never given in to the bloodlust that came with it. He was a true warrior, once who fought with purity, with honor. He was much too good for Kurama. He had simply yet to realize that. And if the kitsune were to open up about his past...

A sharp pain ran through his heart and settled in his stomach. He couldn't stand the thought of such a rejection. But was it any better than essentially doing the reverse to Yusuke? Pushing him away until he left?

He was stuck between a rock and a hard place, a sadly familiar situation.

_Where there is desire,  
There is gonna be a flame.  
Where there is a flame,  
Someone's bound to get burned._

"...Please leave your name and number and I'll-." Kurama's voicemail was cut off by Yusuke closing his phone. He was tempted to throw it at the wall, but thought better of it. The money to buy a new one could be put to better uses.

Never before had his boyfriend not answered his call after a fight. A new sensation boiled within Yusuke. It was a strange combination of fear and anger. Fear that it might finally have been one fight too many for Kurama, and anger that the kitsune would have the nerve to be mad at _him, _like _he_ had done something wrong.

Yusuke quickly downed the rest of his beer and reached for another. It had been so easy for them at first. The flirting, the discovery. But once Kurama had made it clear that the discovery could only go so far, it went to hell. And for all the arguments they had, they had just as many fond memories.

It was bizarre to feel such a way. He both wanted to kiss Kurama, hear him whisper his name, and break a chair over his face. This frustration had become an old friend as of late.

After a minute or two more of feeling torn, Yusuke picked up his phone and dialed Kurama's number again. He decided that if there was answer this time, the fox wanted to be left alone.

_But just because it burns,  
Doesn't mean you're gonna die.  
You gotta get up and try, try, try.  
Gotta get up and try, try, try._

"Hello?" Kurama answered on the third ring.

"Hey. It's me," Yusuke said. The kitsune could hear the uncertainty in his voice. There was a moment of awkward silence before Kurama spoke.

"I'm sorry." The phrase was beginning to sound like a loop between them. "More than anyone, I want you to know me. I just don't know how to let that happen." A sigh was heard from the other end.

"I know. I'm sorry for pushing you so hard," Yusuke said. The apology nearly broke Kurama's heart. He had no need to be sorry for anything.

"I think I'm going to sleep now. I'll call you tomorrow." Just like he always did after an argument.

"Okay. Goodnight," he said. His sadness was so clear through his tone. Kurama bid him goodnight as well, and ended the call.

And just like that, they weren't fighting anymore. They were back to being happy, smiling, kissing, being a couple. But the guilt of the situation ate away at Kurama. He looked at his phone and thought about calling Yusuke back, but decided against it. Tomorrow, he would try again to let Yusuke in and give himself a chance to open up. Tomorrow, it would be better.

As Kurama set the piece of technology down, he felt tears sting his eyes. A shuddering breath escaped him, and he decided a hot shower would do him some good before bed.

_Ever worried that it might be ruined  
And it doesn't make you want to cry?  
When you're out there doing what you're doing,  
Are you just getting by?  
Tell me, are you just getting by?_

The annoyingly bright screen stared back at Yusuke, telling him that the call had ended. The emotions coursing through him hadn't lessened with the end of their argument. He closed the cell phone, but kept it in his hand as he paced about his apartment. He knew he needed to go to bed soon, but he couldn't be still.

There were two warring voices within him. One that said patience and love were key, and one that said this had been a bad idea from the start. After all, he and Kurama were so different. Yusuke peddled ramen, and his boyfriend was working towards his Masters degree. The redhead was so beautiful and charming, and Yusuke...

..._is who he chose._

The thought struck him in a particular way. But even with this, the former detective was conflicted. How many times can you push about something before you just push the other person away? And thinking about Kurama leaving just left him all the more confused. He didn't want that, but what would he do if it happened? A noise of aggravation left his throat.

Yusuke would be miserable.

Seeing Kurama after a long day of work was something he most looked forward to. Relaxing and watching a movie, or going out and teasing the fox about all the looks he got. Ever since they first met, Kurama had become a huge part of his life. Trying to live without him now would be just barely getting by.

Yusuke took the phone in his hand and didn't call his boyfriend, but send him a text that he could wake up to. Hopefully, it would be enough.

_Where there is desire,  
There is gonna be a flame.  
Where there is a flame,  
Someone's bound to get burned._

Wrapping a towel around his waist, Kurama stepped out of his bathroom and was greeted by the blinking of his phone, alerting him to a new message.

He flipped open the phone and read the text. Then another time. And again and again until a tear slid down his cheek. It had taken a minute or two for it to sink in, but when it did, it hit him like a ton of bricks.

"I need you."

The message was simple enough, but meant so many things to Kurama. He had been so selfish, so unfair. And here his boyfriend was looking past that and caring for him anyway. In that moment, something clicked inside Kurama. He took the towel from his waist and dried his hair with it as best he could. He threw it into the basket by the door and rushed to put clothing on.

He burst through the door of his apartment, not bothering to lock it (his plants would take care of any unwanted visitors) and took the stairwell instead of the elevator. A neighbor called after him, but Kurama didn't hear any of the words they spoke. He was a man on a mission.

Kurama needed Yusuke, too. And whether or not it meant losing him, the kitsune had to be honest about his past. He owed Yusuke that much, and wouldn't continue to string him along.

The wind was that much cooler for running with wet hair, but Kurama didn't care. Something inside him was screaming, and it needed a release named Yusuke. Thankfully, they lived relatively near each other, so with a bit of demonic help, he would get there soon.

_But just because it burns  
Doesn't mean you're gonna die.  
You gotta get up and try, try, try.  
Gotta get up and try, try, try._

Yusuke was flicking through the channels, finding nothing of interest, when a rather hard knock at the door forced his attention away from the TV. As he got up to answer, he realized just whose energy it was on the other side. The open door revealed his boyfriend, looking disheveled and slightly out of breath.

"Kurama, what're you-" He was cut off by the sudden intensity of a kiss. His face trapped between the hands of a kitsune, his lips occupied by another pair presssing desperately against them.

His confusion was put on hold as Kurama poured his feelings into this one kiss. Fear, desire, love, need, uncertainty, nervousness, and more were present. Yusuke responded with just as much, wrapping one arm around the redhead's waist and using the other to close the door. Soon, Kurama was pushed against it as their tongues battled for dominance.

When they finally separated, thanks to Kurama, the two young men were panting and pushing their bodies as close together as possible. Yusuke felt the fox lean their foreheads together and caress his cheek.

"I need you, too."

Hearing him speak the words was better than any relief Yusuke had ever felt. A small chuckle escaped his lips as a smile spread across them. He opened his eyes to find Kurama looking at him, searching for something he wasn't sure he'd find.

Instead of responding with words, Yusuke kissed Kurama. Into this one gesture, he put a gentle acceptance of what he knew was Kurama's true apology. He leaned back after a moment to take in all of the fox's features. It wasn't until he was looking that he noticed something.

"...Why is your hair wet?" he asked, relieving the tension visible on Kurama's face.

A strange smile settled onto the kitsune's face as he laughed. Yusuke snickered and kissed him again, feeling a great, sudden happiness. He wouldn't immediately ask Kurama about his past, but he felt that when he did so next time, he'd receive an honest answer. They continued kissing against the door before moving into the bedroom, a new day rising on their relationship.

_Gotta get up and try._


End file.
